Has someone ever asked you a question and before you could give him or her an answer they finished your sentence or cut you off with their opinion. Well, you are not alone. We all think that we are great listeners but if you are more aware of what listening is not, you may find yourself doing one of the following.
If you start to formulate a response before the person is done speaking then you are no longer actively listening to what they are saying. All you can think about is what YOU are going to say so you really are no longer paying attention to the conversation any more.
Turning the conversation back to you. You know what, not everything has to be about you. Just because you had something similar, or you went to the same place for vacation you really need to let the person talk about their adventure. When the conversation goes back to you all the time nobody really wants to say anything anymore because they just have to listen to things about you. Even more so they just may see you coming and run in the other direction.
Pushing your beliefs on others. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and you don’t always have to give yours freely to others. You will always run into someone who has different beliefs. Who knows, you may learn something if you actually listen.
Being a run-on talker. You know these types. They call and you have to overcome the fear of answering the phone because you know that you will be on the phone all night. You can set the phone down, leave the room, go for coffee, come back and they haven’t missed you at all. They didn’t even know that you were gone. I have a sister like this.
Finishing off someone’s sentence. Don’t always assume that you know what someone is going to say. They might go off in a totally different direction at the end of the sentence and you may miss some valuable information.
Trying to fix everyone’s problems when they are telling them to you is very frustrating for the other person. Sometimes they just need to tell someone and in the process the find the solution themselves.
Saying to someone “I know what you mean”. Do you really understand? You cannot read anyone’s mind so telling someone that you know what he or she means is really inappropriate.
You are always right. Everyone else is always wrong. It is our need to be right all the time as human beings that cause so much conflict in the world.
These are just a few things that we do wrong when we are listening to people. If you are the person that has any of the above traits you are diminishing the other person. It invalidates who they are.
Now that you are aware of what we do when we are listening you have the conscious choice to change how we listen. Keep the focus on the other person so that they feel valued and important. People like to be around others when they feel that they matter and that someone cares about them.
People that are successful in business listen to others. Now is the time to change this aspect of your business life.
To get training in this area and others you can go to 180days to greatness and view daily lessons by the program creator and coach Nadira Haniff.
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